Monday, August 22, 2011

A New Segment

     Today I am going to introduce a new segment I like to call.......

NoF*cking Way That Should Have Been Nominated
     First up is a gem of classic Disney animation that we all know as Beauty and The Beast. The reason I chose this as the flagship movie for this segment is the fact that in 1991 it received 6 Oscar nominations including best picture. Personally I think this should not have been the case. 
     While beautifully put together, well animated with a touching story, there were far to many what I consider mistakes in story line, plot, and resolutions to the story. This removes the possibility of a best picture award of any type in my eyes.
      And now, ta-da, the list of glaring problems.
     1.) Set in France during the early days of the kingdom, I find it interesting that no one in the country speaks with a french accent. That is right, no one, save a candlestick. It is also interesting that The Beast (who is the crown prince of France) does not have a french accent either. On another note, it seems a little funny to me that no one has any clue that the royal family lives in the big f*cking castle up the road.
     2)The story in the movie is about how The Beast must find true love before he turns twenty years old, when the final petal will drop from a magical rose, or he will die. This is due to the fact that 10 years earlier, an enchantress put a curse on him, because he would not let her into the palace during a storm. she viewed him as greedy and hard hearted, so she deemed this necessary. The boy was 10 yo. This woman cursed a 10 yo. A 10 yo was "greedy" in her eyes.

     3.) But that brings us to our next point WHY THE F*CK WAS THE 10 YO CROWN PRINCE OPENING THE DOOR ON A STORMY NIGHT? Where the f*ck were the king and queen? Where the f*ck were the palace guards? Did I mention he was 10?
     4.) There is more, but i will close off with this last MAJOR plot error.  Fact: all the furniture in the palace was formerly the servants of the palace. Now one very deep scene in the movie really lets us feel the anger and pure rage The Beast has inside, when Belle (the heroine) comes upon a room where the beast in a rage has destroyed furniture dishes curtains, you name it it was destroyed.
     Soooo... you may have an idea as to what i am hinting at, but you may still be wrong. When everyone has been turned back into humans, can you imagine the horrific bloody mess in that room. Arms and legs flayed about everywhere. Blood sprayed on all the walls. Anyone still surviving screaming in anguish as they bleed out. 

     Highly entertaining, well animated, wonderfully scored movie that my children have loved. Did i enjoy the movie? Yes. Did it deserve the best movie nomination? No.


  1. This is what I was looking for.

    +following, more reviews soon, hopefully

  2. haha think you're kinda right(H) Also enjoyed the movie tough(A)!!

  3. Easily me new favourite segment haha!