Tuesday, September 6, 2011

No F*cking Way That Should Have Been Nominated

     Welcome back to another installment of No F*cking Way That Should Have Been Nominated, the little section where we discuss why a movie had no right to be nominated for Best Picture at the Oscars. And by we discuss- I mean I gripe.

     In the spirit of this weeks semi theme, today's offering is District 9. Nominated for best picture in 2010, this Faux Documentary, for lack of better terms, left much to be desired in my eyes. In all honesty, the dvd cover is probably the best part of the entire movie. 
     First the story of the movie, before I start into my rant. One day a rather gigantic alien craft enters earths atmosphere, and does nothing. After sitting for a while, the government cracks it open and finds a bunch of starving aliens inside. They take them to down to the planet, help them get back to health, and when the novelty of the newcomers wears off, all the aliens are rounded up and placed in a controlled ghetto area, not unlike than a concentration camp, headed up by the almost laughably named Multi-National United, a corporation that seems to exist only to control the alien population, without passing the guilt on to the average man.  
     One day a hidden lab is discovered in one of the aliens houses, and all basic shit breaks loose. a vial is discovered which the corporation goons assume is a weapon of some type, it opens and gets sprayed in the face of our john every man main character, and he starts slowly transforming into one of the extraterrestrials (I got bored with saying alien). Now he is dependent on the aliens to fix him, but his transformation gives him the ability to use their technology, so enter the government cover-up to imprison him and find a way to use their tech. this is as far as I will describe the movie, because I am actually boring myself thinking about it.
Mr. Protagonist and an alien discuss fondue, not really, but it would have been more interesting.

     Now time for me to start.
     1.) with the cover to the dvd/blu-ray disc, one gets the misleading feeling that the aliens have voluntarily set up a settlement on earth, and were establishing a basic point of "this is our damn spot stay the f-word out". This is however not the case, seems humans run rampant throughout the alien territory, and if this corporation gave a rats ass (or the governments for that matter), they would have kept the warlords and religious fanatic humans out, or gone in and pulled them out, being that they were STOCKPILING FREAKING ALIEN WEAPONS.
     2.) I don't really see a reason that the aliens couldn't have fixed their ship while they were in it, being as the only needed parts to fix it were in the trash in the camp. 
    3.) Being as the ship has been floating for MONTHS when we are brought into the movie, you mean to tell me they didn't have the power to send down a shuttle to get what they needed off the ground?
    4.) On a ship that big the aliens had only one emergency shuttle? For an advanced civilization, there engineering department seems to suck ass in the emergency planning phase.
    5.) A little trash juice in the face is all it took to make Mr. protagonist an alien hybrid. So in the entire time on the planet, no human has come in contact with alien trash juice?
    6.) One thing you might find interesting, a gigantic stockpile of alien weapons, is IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAMN CAMP. So if the aliens wanted, equal treatment, freedom, or to squash the groups around them, taking advantage of them, all they had to do was snag a few of their weapons from the warlords in the middle of their damn camp and they would have been unstoppable. Thing is, two of them with weapons not only escaped from one of the most secure buildings in the country where they were, they took out  a WHOLE DAMN ARMY.
     There is a tremendous amount of other problems, but I wont go into it much further, because it only makes me wonder what the script writer, director, and producers were smoking, and can I get some. 
You may ask "Were there any good points to the movie?" The answer surprisingly is, yes. The special effects were great. Some of the best I have ever seen. The acting was above par, believable in every sense, and the characters made you feel the story. Also the ending was great. Don't misunderstand me. What I mean by that is, "The movie ended. Great, now I can go enjoy something."
     But I say cautiously, watching the movie was a very underwhelming experience. Special effects not included, there was nothing that really stood out. The story was a weak parallel of apartheid, and basically says that even when we know that we are not alone in the universe, humans will still be racist cockwads, even to a superior race that has the ability to wipe us out if they chose to do so.


  1. Bad movie overall indeed, but what I liked is that they had made the emotional part of the movie pretty sweet, you felt kinda sorry for the aliens that you're being a human being, gonna follow you're blog:)!

  2. I really liked it, haters gonna hate D: +F

  3. Never watched it cause it looked stupid. :/ I'm probably right, haha.